the balance sheet..!!!

Sri laxmi, a newly appointed lecturer in the area of Marketing was at GIM that day and after joining, Dr Joseph told her that she would be lead into the class by Prof Anandalaksmi or AM as she was called ,in her capacity as the chairperson-Marketing area and be introduced to second year students.

I dont think she has that kind of confidence...AM confided with Dr Joseph as she sat in his chamber waiting for the bell to go on air, after which she could take the new damsel to start her life with the knowledge hungry crowd of the second year of MBA at GIM.

Even I dont...... told Dr Joseph in a hushed tone... but then it is VC's appointment and as usual even I had no say in the whole thing.... I was only told this morning....

ooh.... AM sat with an open mouth, as if it was through there that the news was going in...

And you know what......Dr Joseph was more than happy to feed her with more information...... Another four more are joining to 'boost the intellectual capital' as per VC but in fact to compensate the numbers which we have lost in the last two months.......

Ohh..numbers is a problem is it...? I thought with everyone in the HQ from Dr Joy in the list of Faculty send to AICTE, we were on the comfortable side.... whispered AM...

hahahahahaha....Dr Joseph laughed, in a way which was entirely his own and even the best student mimic of GIM could never copy it, with full perfection....

Sirrrrr.... came and called Jansi william,the faculty office secretary...

Yes please......said Dr Joseph, visibly unhappy for the abrupt end that he had to put to his syrupy chat with the gossipy lady ..

The bell will not work..there seems to be some problem ....so if...... said Jansi in her usual curtailed style of speech......

***********************************************************
The students of the Finance specialisation had a very peculiar problem.....

None of their faculty was permanant, mostly drawn for various companies locally and hence when others were in classes they dragged on in the awful canteen or in the students area and when others went back to hostels or with their girl/boy friends for some outing, they sat in classes pretending to be in love with all the jargons and high funda that flew left and right their heads but never into it...

And those faculty who joined as full timers either didnt knew what it meant when they joined and ran away in between( when they realised it) leaving their jobs ,leaving behind more names in the long list of faculty who quit GIM or simply continued defying all notions of student likeabilty being directly proportional to a faculty's survival and existence........

The game went on and so did Dr Subhajit Agarwal ,who was with GIM for the past 7 months much to the chagrin of the 'being taught' students of the Finance stream and to the delight of the Management for having employed some one who had the right people in Delhi .....

For the students he was a tragedy, they simply couldnt understand what he was talking about, not the hard finance, but the simple english....

For the faculty colleagues of his he was a comedy, they wanted some one to laugh at and about, and to proove their point that the HQ (of late) recruited with intentions other than teaching ability in mind....

For the business of business education he was a disgrace , for someone who has written 23 cases and published many a research papers, would look like an asset in paper but in practice he was an NPA... a non performing asset who soon ,for GIM was becoming a liability....

The Kids play...

The man was tall, cool and handsome. He almost walked like a model into the long corridors of GIM ,confidently into the HQ where the top brass lived.

Madam secretary was not on her seat when he arrived at the HQ reception. He waited for a while and then took his mobile phone out and rang up some one....

Mr Manohar.... he smiled and smoothly whispered, as if to his girls ears.... I am Valmiki Gupta from Mumbai, hope Mr Sharma of AICTE has spoken to you about me.....

Silence....

Yes I am outside the HQ ,but very well inside GIM, lost in the spectacle... continued Gupta...

A glass door opened and came out Mr Manohar, who was the Director of GIM ,not in charge of academics, which Dr Jesus took care of , but in charge of quality assurance and overseas relations. Manohar ,was the son in law of Dr Joy, his only daughter Sulatha's husband, whom she wed after a embattled love life which her father and brother opposed to. Manohar was Hindu, who was a blot in the evangelist family who could convince many others to adopt the way of the cross but their own son in law. Manohar and his wife lived in the US for sometime where he ran his own software firm which became big and big and burst one day in the bubble burst. His love for his daughter made Dr Joy carve an office for his son in law, out of nothing and from nowhere....and make him seated in the same HQ where he sat with his son in the cabin adjacent and VC next to it...

Yes Mr Gupta..... welcome welcome...thundered Manohar as he walked out of his office with arms thrown open to receive the seemingly elite guest.

After the exchange of pleasantaries they sat in Manohars plush office, every corner of which vied for attention.

I should tell you that you have a beautiful campus and a very charming office... said Gupta

Manohar flashed a smile, a classic of his, disarming and captivating, which probably clean swept Sulatha's heart and made the rise of the son in law to the nucleus of the GIM empire...

That is what everyone says....blushed Manohar.... and the credit goes to the visionary Dr Joy who happens to be my Father In Law.....

Oh ! I did not know that.... laughed Gupta and Manohar returned it with a you- better -know- it- you- ass smile....

Chalo let us get to business ..said Gupta... Now shall I proceed into my assignment?

I wish you a happy week ahead and hope that after your training our students and their soft skills will get polished up... said Manohar as he stood up to bid farewell...

Wouldnt you be checking my credentials?.... asked Gupta

Mr Sharma says and that is the best credential as far as GIM is concerned......smiled Manohar, this time business man like, adopting it fully from his father in law....... You can meet Dr Joseph our executive director in the second floor, who will let you know the plans for the week.

As Valmiki Gupta walked out, Manohar picked up the intercom and hastilly dialled Dr Joseph and told him that the guest is coming , dialled another number,held for a while and then kept the receiver impatiently back to the cradle. He took a piece of paper and wrote....

Daddy,

Valmiki gupta is here and I have decided to use him as the soft skills trainer for the next one week. Dr Joseph is being asked to take care of. I would be happy if you can ask Jesus to keep away from this....

Manohar

****************************************************
Dr Joseph was glued to the telephone when the guest walked in with firm steps, a lavish smile and an extended hand of friendship.

Yes sir.. will do sir.. no sir.... ok sir.... he kept on saying mechanically and kept the phone....

You look pale and shocked... said Gupta.... did I walk in at the wrong time?

well no... said Dr Joseph...... absolutely not.....but I am afraid you may have to go to the guest house now... and let us begin fresh tomorrow morning...

Cool with me ....said Gupta.... and in any case im here direct from the airport.. would like to have some rest...

As Gupta was packed off,Dr Joseph ran to the VC's office.......

You will have to help me sir..... he lamented as he almost fell into a chair......There is a man who have come from Delhi on Mr Manohars invitation and we are putting him as a soft skills trainer....

mmmm....mumbled VC....

Sharma of AICTE has recommended him and you know Sharma....continued Dr Joseph......that is why Manohar wants...

And Jesus has told you that Gupta cannot and willnot train the students here.. right?......asked VC...

Dr Joseph smiled in astonishment, for a second, and then out a releif over the realisation that this man who knew the GIM family better than he knew his own, could solve this puzzle as well....

Half the time he spend unravelling such quagmires......

Rest half he spend crafting new problems as a raison d'être to his existence.......

Blame me..blame you...

The students of the second year of Master of Business Administration at GIM batch after batch had one feature which was carried down as if through some inherited gene, with amazing precision... they all become lack lusture, lifeless and lethargic..... life suddenly for them, they seemed to start beleiving that ,is over or almost near to it.... studies become a mere ritual and so is other facets of life....

It was clearly not the pressures of management education that was the cause of this disease , for even in the first year they have the pressure and they enjoy it....it was not the work load that came in the shape of cases and assignements, work books and log tables, balance sheets and brand report cards, for by second year they should be feeling comfortable with all that and not in the contrary.....

Not that any one in GIM was unduely perturbed over the glitch but that it was a reason why come December and before a new year dawns the fault finding mission started was of worry to atleast some .....

who is to blame for the issue which year after year looked impenetrable...?

A typical fault finding meeting starts like this....

Now again it is seen that the recruiters are of the opinion that students lack in general awareness, soft skills, and even grooming... said Dr Joy from his raised pedestal in the meeting room.

VC and ED sitting left and right as would the proverbial three monkeys ,shook their heads in complete agreement......

I should say...Prof Ram mumbled ...that the onus is on the faculty, who somehow somewhere is failing in their duties....

I should say...Said Dr Joy.... that the faculty should take he responsibility for this failure that they are facing...

Oh he changed the sentence....smiled Sukesh

But the idea remains the same... quiped Anand shankar

As a matter of fact we are planning certain changes in the way the faculty evaluation would hereafter be taking place.....went on the king

Evaluation...My goodness.. I never knew that they are doing anything of that name... commented Anand shankar

Students selection is the root cause and we dont need to do any research to know it...stood up Prof Ram, the outspoken... it is simple,we are trying to build palaces on pigwaste...

There was a stunned silence in the room.... It was this man who allways called the spade a spade, when others sat silently and even worse, nodding heads as the famous dolls of Tanjore would do.

Anand Shankar took it from there.... I have seen many girls and boys whom the first round panel have rejected, later sitting in the class... is it not a mockery..? before the faculty gets to teach them arent they given a message there that if you have the cheque ready we have the seat vacant for you?

But it is all happening everywhere ....stood up VC ,the chanakya..... how can we only be different and in any case the talent of faculty lies not in making the best the best again but the bad the best....do you agree?

That was one of his aces, Subramaniam potti , the shrewd brahmin,knew that he will get some ye ye from the crowd and the division would be done...

Ditto it happened and heated debate followed after which there was more disagreement than agreement and the only agreement was that this was the 'classical chicken or the egg'question...

Dr Joy continued his monologue and at the end established that what he said was right and others (those who disagree) could search for other options.....

In a way that was entirely his own,he said.... Im a democratic leader...I believe in discussion....debates...disagreement..but then it is my baby and I have a dream for it... either you are with me in this journey or you are not....

It clearly was a ploy and this meeting was just a farce like many other meetings....

My mind says that something more is yet to come.. this is just test marketing... said Sukesh menon to Anand shankar making sure that the top brass have left..

Let them yaaarr...no prostitute can go on giving chastity speech like this... retorted Anand shankar ... one day this man will stand exposed.thread bare.....

of credits and discredits....

The King had just arrived... Dr Joy was referred to in GIM as the King... to be honest to the man he had made this jump into education from alchohol business which was the families forte before they flew their flag high in education. His farsight,according to Prof Ram was worth appreciating...

Dr Joy had been to Delhi to woo ( read it as bribe) head honchos of AICTE in the capital city. Now for those who have not heard about that 5 letter word...... it is the hot bed of corruption,where all the technical education(and that includes management education and engineering along with a host of others) in this country are approved of and acceredited to. That in simple terms mean, that if you grease the Hindi bosses sitting in the Indira Gandhi Complex office in New Delhi, their pan coated holy teeth will sparkle and if they do not you cannot run anything which is "technical" education in this country.....

The Delhi visit and the Kings feats there was the hot topic of discussion that fine morning in the common seating area of the faculty room in GIM...( the faculty in GIM spends most of the time there having tea and gossiping, most of the time arguing about futile nothings, claiming how they would have run GIM if they were allowed to, assuming, ridiculing, sometimes with pain going to classes and most of the time planning for the week ends...The women never or rarely joined as they always had better things to do like discussing on a new saree design or a jewellery shop offer as seen on that days newspaper)....
Almost everyone was present as they were curious to know the outcome.....led by Dr Joseph,the Executive director or ED as he was called their anxiety knew no bounds .All said and done their survival depended on the number game.........

GIM wanted to be intaking another 60 or 120 students coming year thus making it the largest Bschool in this part of the country...

More numbers= more students=more fees=full coffers=happy Joy+ Jesus+ their family=Incriments for everyone.......

Aha....

It was that dream equation that was driving the discussion over tea that morning...

He will make it... said Prof Ismail khan- the tough guy, the face of discipline, the dean of GIM

by hook or by crook.....said Prof Ram with a smile

you should not have called him a crook quipped the English professor Varghese mathew in his witty but cunning style...

Aha now you are putting your literature into my mouth.... said Prof Ram...

Now who are you all? what are you discussing about..? feigning ignorance entered the young ProfessorSukesh who was handsome and hence the hero of many a girls, was brainy and hence the hero of many a boys and because he was both a villain for many others.

mmmm come controversy and he will ask this.... said Prof Ram......

That is because I have a family my dear sir and unlike you I dont have bank balance, real estates and gold deposits....I live on this... retorted Sukesh

So what is the news? are we getting a big cake? ...... to ease the tension, some one asked....

Wait for Dr Joseph to return... he is there waiting outside the HO to see the king... said Prof Ismail as he stood up, probably getting reminded of the fact that some one above them ,through the camera was watching it all......
****************************************************
Leeladhar reddy had his father coming all the way from Andhra to meet the Gods at GIM. Mary anand was regularly attending classes and probably scratching some other hapless guys thighs, but Leeladhar was left languishing outside the HO in a vain attempt to see Dr Jesus- the director of GIM...every morning he will show up at 8 and wait...Jesus will appear all of a sudden ,go in to his room as if he is a horse and he is banned from side vision, get firmly saddled in the larger than life chair in his tech savvy, plush office which will put even Bill gates to shame, move in and out making Leeladhar reddy stand up and sit down, every time with a hope smiling at his face that he may be called in....tea will go in and empty cups will come out, guests will come and go, lunch will happen ,Jesus will dissapear through the lift and into one of his saloon cars into an' undisclosed location' as his secretary would sheepishly say after he has left...leeladhar would wait, in forever beleif that he would be called in anytime.....but in vain....after many days of this sordid drama, he was called suddenly by the secretary ,and as he woke up from his half slumber in the reception area ,trembling and shivering out of joy that atlast he is called in...

You have to bring your father and by tomorrow 9 am he should be here- pronounced the proud lady ( the priest has to be prouder than the Gods..Right?)

But madam.... fumbled Leeladhar..... can I not see Dr Jesus.... and tomorow.. my father is in Andhra... how can ...I ...god... madam...can ..?

That I dont know...Dr Jesus has instructed me to convey this to you and now you can go....Clarified Madam secretary...

Leeladhar walked out cursing his stars and the moments when he felt it is ok and even exciting to be caressed and cuddled by a girl, and when got caught in the class, his body couldnt come back to react and say a sorry and finish it there.... he still had a smile which Prof Joseph took as an act of defiance and shamelessness which landed him in the mess that he was in.......

What will I tell my father... and how will I come out of this quagmire..? was the question that bothered him.

Inside the HQ the celebrations had begun... the AICTE had almost cleared the proposal of a seat increase... Yes an inspection team would come, but then GIM has ' seen' many inspection teams in the past....

What is the big deal...? asked Dr Joseph as he broke the news in the faculty room...

( to be continued)

In God we trust......

God's institute of Management is a fully residential quality oriented management and business school where , the students are imparted training by professionally qualified and continually motivated managers , who also focus in research and......

Holly crap.. thundered Professor Anand shankar,who taught advertising at GIM,who m the vice chairman Prof Shanmugham potti had given a piece of literature to read.... I wonder who writes such stuff... looks so very monotonous.... and far away from truth....

Others who sat in the common sitting room having tea,laughed at the astounding ways of prof anand... he always did it ..he said it out ,what he meant in a typical lingua, often forgeting that he had left advertising sometime back and is now with this place..the GIM....and is a Professor..

It is a contemporary expression of a colossal..... started Prof Mathew varghese , no prizes for guessing, he taught english in the afternoons to classes, who where only half receptive, the other half being asleep......

Why dont you tell the VC ( Prof Shanmugham potti- the vice chairman was often refered to as ) that it is utter nonsense? inquired prof vasanth iyer, sipping his tea and reading from a Marketing strategy text book as well...

Now that I have done it in your presence, will I have to tell him too.. quipped Anand shankar.....

The place reverberated with laughter at the joke... Anand had just opened a pandorras box by talking out something which others always felt but wouldnt dare enough to talk out. Vasanth was an Iyer and so was the VC and together (with some others) they formed the heart of the Tambrahm clique which made GIM a very funny place....

Vasanth walked out of the common room and barged into his cabin, ostensibly unable to defend the group assault and the fact that no one, not even his fans didnt dare to support him in a hour of need...
*******************************************************

Prof Ram was late to the class and the kids were up in their peak of disorder.... some came out of the amphitheatre where the class was scheduled and stood in the quadrangle facing the sea.... it was a beautiful sight there to see the distant sea from the quadrangle of GIM... a trully beautiful sight.....

Not as per Dr Jesus.... The chairman's only son, the Director of GIM, US educated softspoken administrator but at times flaring up like a forest fire which made him behave like a crown prince ( which he was) and earning him the sobriquet from the North Indian students who studied there- Samrat Natvardhan or in short nattu ..... He was also an evangelist which some accuse was the families another trick for making money...they were into the two most happening businessess -Education and God....

Why are those people standing there? ......asked Jesus calling out Jansi william , the secretary in the faculty office.

The poor lady trembled, muttered and murmured for want of words and things to say.... It was no way in connection with her job but again neither she, nor the authorities in GIM knew what her job was.. she came.. sat in the faculty room at the centre table..did all the works the faculty gave her, often dumped on her without grace and with impudence, ran to the head office when some one called her asking her this and that, often things far outside her knowledge and area of expertise and got abuses and statements which made her eyes wet the whole day..... and very often get kicked ( not literally ) by the frustrated students who saw her as a safe place to vent out..

I am asking you...Thundered Jesus.....

I dont know sir... she shivered as she said...

whose class is this now ?

It is Prof Ram ..sir....

Ask him to meet me before he goes to the class.... and tell the class representative that he is suspended for the next one week...

Jesus walked into his Plush cabin and Jansi ran to the faculty room, half relieved that her life ,for the moment is saved and half trembing as to what will happen next.......
*******************************************************
The canteen was a favourite place for the students of GIM... for three reasons....

1.it was a bit far from the ever so'disciplined' folks who ruled GIM

2. it hadnt had AC and such plush paraphernalia but hadnt had the omnipresent camera which made everyone in GIM a talented actor the moment they stepped into the large main door where sat the huge picture of Dr Joy smiling like a fool.

3.there they could sit, stand, talk, crack jokes, run, play and very very important...use mobile phones........

To be continued.......

The S Class Just Arrived...!!!

It was a bright sunny day when in the reception of God's Institute of Management, the premier management school in the state, Prof Ram noticed some commotion which was unusual to the place...

walking out of the Library ,into the long corridors of the "truly world class" B school as GIM claimed to be, Prof Ram's curious mind simply refused to give up...

Dr Joy has bought a new car.. it is just coming-- someone from among the crowd announced to the professor....

He flashed a smile as if he couldnt see any news value in that piece of broadcast, and he turned back in an attempt to walk to the faculty....

It is a Merc S class sir... u know the price... 98 lakhs.- some one said...

Prof Ram was awestruck as he again turned back and joined the crowd waiting to see the elegant chairman of GIM charitable trust arriving with his pomp and pageantry in display....

No it is only some 80 -85 lakhs- clarified some one...

And this is Dr Joys 37 th car ..amazing no..?

Prof Ram couldnot take it any more... he dragged himself to the faculty room, where in the last meeting Dr Joy had refused the idea of a National Marketing Summit to be hosted by GIM, simply because GIM was not cash rich to hold "such extravaganza"....
**********************************************************************

Leeladhar reddy came from Guntur in Andhrapradesh, son of a poor farmer, doing his second year masters in business management in GIM . Prof Vasanth Iyer met him in the corridor outside the academic office , with the poor youngster sobbing uncontrollably.....

Leeladhar you seem to be in trouble-asked Prof vasanth

Im suspended sir, for two weeks and that means my whole semester is gone.. I will have to repeat with the juniors sir.......the guy lamented as tears rolled down his cheeks.....

but for what.. what did you do? tell me ....I can try to help you..-demanded the professor

I was sitting with Mary anand mathew in class, she touched my hands,touched my legs and..

mmm ..thats enough and you are caught..?- asked the professor- what about that girl..?

She is no where in picture sir, now it is said that I did everything and she....cried leeladhar.....

mmm ... muttered Prof Iyer as he walked into the head office where the management sat ruling the GIM empire with iron hands and clay heads .....

The begining..!!

This is an insiders views about the business of running B schools in India...

Good bad and ugly....

No efforts are taken to insult any one or harm the reputation of any soul , in the process of this work. I dont claim to make it an epic but probably the first time in a blog you get to see a whole story unravelled, episode after episode as like in a novel....

No efforts are taken to spare anyone either, and any resemblance whatsover with any one, it is only natural , to have the tint of familiar environments....

Strategic Management and the Chicken curry may not become an eye opener, for you can awake only the sleeping ,not the dead nor the pretending....but atleast it would tickle your conscience....

So join me in this exploration......

Welcome on board..!!!